How To Get Through That ISH!
Pain is a real thing. We all have experienced some level of trauma and/or strife in our lives. Someone has disappointed us, let us down, hurt our feelings, broke our hearts, ect. Life is a cycle built on pain and peace. They are there to balance each other out. But sometimes we can get stuck in our pain, drown ourselves in the bad feelings and forget that there is sunshine on the other side. Honestly I'd like to go a little deeper and talk about how black people do not like to acknowledge the things that we've been through. We tend to normalize dysfunction, hurt and suffering. It sometimes cripples us and keeps us in the cycle of depression.
It is okay not to be okay. We all face struggles. Its just about how you deal with them and how long you allow them to be apart of your life. It's most healthy to internalize and go through whatever you're going through, but give yourself an end date to let go of whatever is bothering you. We have to find ways to safely let go of pain and gain a greater understanding of the situation. There are many different ways that we cope with our problems. Actually what keeps us from losing ourselves, is the level in which we are able to successfully deal with our pain. Here are some helpful ways to relax, relate and release. #LetThatShitGo
1. Acknowledgement Acknowledge what you are feeling. Don't try to surpress your emotions. If you're mad then be mad. If you're sad then feel that shit! The worst thing we can do to ourselves is pretend that we're okay. We want to be strong at all the wrong times, and what ends up happening is we bury the problem and it comes back to haunt us at a later time in life. So embrace your emotions so you can get through it.
2. Accountability Be accountable for yourself! I can not stress this enough. It's so easy to blame other people,or point out their mistakes instead of owning your own. Accountability is a BIG word in my own personal healing process. The moment I began holding myself to another level of ACCOUNTABILITY, my life changed, and I stepped into womanhood. At the exact time I stopped blaming other people for the things that ultimately I allowed, a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Once I actually took a step back, checked my patterns, stopped feeling sorry for myself and got honest with who I am and what I wanted to become, shit got real. You are in charge of you. Period.
3. FORGIVE! Forgiveness is crucial to any healing process. We MUST forgive ourselves for our failures and shortcomings, and also forgive others for hurting us. You absolutely can not move on if you do not let go! We need to grasp the concept that holding onto pain, anger or ill feelings is toxic to our souls. You will forever be weighed down if allow strife to lead your life. Your ability to forgive and let go determines how truly strong you are. "It's not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it's such a powerful place because it frees you." -Tyler Perry
4. Talk It Out We all have one go-to person that we can trust with our lives. Allow the person to be your therapist. Talk to them about what your feeling, and what it is you're going through. You'll be surprised to know that nine times out of ten they've probably been through a very similar situation themselves. To be understood by a loved one can be crucial to healing.
5. Fresh Grooves "Music is the only thing that doesn't hurt when it hits you." -Bob Marley Wrap yourself up in your favorite playlist. Music is down right the most therapeutic tool in my life. There's a song that can literally relate to ANY situation. Let your favorite song or artist take you to another world.
6. Pray Learn to talk to God. Bring all your problems to Him and work on establishing a solid relationship with Him. "Be strong and courageous. Don't fear or tremble before them, because the LORD your God will be the one who keeps on walking with you—he won't leave you or abandon you." Deuteronomy 31:7
7. Get Out Enjoy as much time in the sun as possible. There is a lot of healing power in the sun. It's known to help fight depression. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Take a quick vacation to change your scenery, and your mindset. Fresh air and new views could very well help you overcome whatever you're going through.
8. Help a Stranger Being able to hear someone else's story, their struggles or understand their trials can be an instant cure for any pain that you're feeling in yourself. You might be down be there is always another person doing worse! So I say if you're feeling it, go volunteer some of your time at a shelter or at a hospital. Even something as simple as watching the news could humble you. There are people losing their lives everyday to senseless acts of violence. There is someone who didn't wake up today because another person decided that their life didn't have any value. So everyday you get the chance to wake up thank God and count your blessings.
9. Mediate/Work Out The body has the ability to heal itself. If you are in tune with your body you will find yourself in less emotional and mental pain. After a good workout you feel a euphoric sense of joy. Your thoughts are focused on the great work you just had instead of all of the not so good things going on in your life. Meditation also helps us gain awareness of our minds. It help us lose the negative thoughts and energy that is holding us down. Through exercise and meditation we can center our thoughts on all of the love around us, and find inner peace.
10. Read Self help books can awaken something in you. We are responsible for our personal growth but sometimes we need some direction of which way to go. Some of my favorite reads are The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, How to get Out Of Your Own Way by Tyrese Gibson, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. These books are very helpful with giving a new perspective on life. Listening to new ideas or reading a person's success story can inspire you when you're transitioning in your life.